Sunday’s episode was a little slow, the only real highlights was Gaby and John’s reuniun romp and the comedy that ensued, especially Gaby unzipping herself from the baggage in the elevator.

The Orson mystery was stalled a bit with Andrew’s return, though it was touching that he could actuslly get Andrew to return home. Andrew is really going overboard for his revenge the only one he is hurting is himself.

Lynette/Nora story line seems to be going nowhere, except we learn that Tom is more confortable talking about what’s bothering him (getting an advertising job) than he is with Lynette.

The Susan/Ian line is cute, but overplayed in the episode, to the extent that it loss any humour to it. Too much time was wasted on how many men Susan slept with, and Ian inexperience with numerous women.

It should get very interesting now that Mike finally woke up, and with Edie in the room, how coincidental!

TV Guide: October 8, 2006: A Weekend in the Country My favorite part about watching this show is the way they end it each week. Sometimes they wrap it up sweetly in a way that makes you smile. While other times, like last week and tonight, we get a shocker that leaves us hanging until the next episode. Sure, we knew Mike would come out of his coma eventually, but I didn’t think it would be tonight. How wonderful that they didn’t do it the clichéd soap opera way where his eyes suddenly opened up while the camera was on him. Instead, we got a great Edie reaction shot of shock, followed by scenes with other characters (interspersed with the usual Brenda Strong closing narration) and then back to Edie’s face looking over at Mike with his eyes wide open. Loved that! It was already hilarious for Edie to stop by the hospital to retrieve her CD player, grab a chocolate and take a peek under Mike’s blanket to see if he still measured up: “Damn! That’s with the coma!” While we’re on the subject of my goddess Nicollette Sheridan, she had some of tonight’s best lines. Once again proving she was robbed of an Emmy nomination two years in a row for best supporting actress in a comedy, she delivered the following as Edie to Julie, after Julie told her Susan brought Edie’s CD player to the hospital for Mike: “This Florence Nightingale act is really chapping my ass!” This was followed immediately by this line to her nephew Austin: “Hey, science guy, I have an experiment for you. Go home, mix two ounces of gin, a splash of vermouth and see if it improves my mood when I drink it.” The first line gave me déjà vu to my childhood when my mother (Joan Anderson) screamed from the front seat of the car to me and my two brothers as we were loudly arguing in the backseat: “You three better be quiet! You’re aggravating my ass!!” Swear to God.

Tonight, we finally got to see Bree interact with both of her kids. First, Danielle with that bad perm (nice that she made that indirect reference to Matthew Applewhite). Then, at last, Andrew. How “perfectly Bree” of her to finally see her son, but to see him while on her honeymoon on the news being interviewed as a homeless teen. The honeymoon was over, for sure. Luckily, Orson didn’t go ballistic and showed love and support by locating Andrew in his state of homelessness, giving him cash and taking him to lunch. Good to see Andrew come home at the end — the dysfunctional family is back together. But you know Orson’s innocent act won’t last long. Orson to Bree: “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us,” and to Andrew: “I know about rage. But when it goes away, you just live with the mess you make.” I was very impressed that they addressed Bree’s alcoholism and her ongoing frustration when Orson asked her why she was gardening. Better to tend to her azaleas than drink that entire bottle of Chardonnay in her fridge.

When John (Jesse Metcalfe) just so happened to be at the resort that Gabrielle was at for her and Lynette’s spa vacation weekend (that Lynette bailed on), I rolled my eyes. But I soon got over it (remember, Dave, this is just a TV show) because I had forgotten how much I liked seeing the two of them together. Hot. You knew Gaby was going to dig the new and improved version of John since he now owns his own gardening company: “Oooh… I like rich John!” (after he offered to buy a bottle of Dom). When John’s fiancée, Tammy (Michelle Pierce), showed up at the hotel her daddy owned, how on earth could they hide Gaby? Having her hide inside the suitcase was ingenious and hearing Gaby scream “That bitch!” from inside the suitcase after Tammy accepted John’s sudden gift of Gaby’s watch (followed by John kicking the suitcase) had me rewinding my TiVo. How to top that? Having Gaby come out of the suitcase in front of the couple on the elevator: “Don’t laugh! I saved a bundle on airfare.” This should be interesting since John claims he won’t cheat once he gets married. Gaby: “Marriage is hard.”

I enjoyed the Susan/Ian “weekend in the country” plot since they were taking “it” so slowly. It’s fun to see a couple in the early stages go back and forth with the “how many people have you been with?” conversation. I’m usually the one who pulls a Susan and tries to make it look like I haven’t been too much of a slut. Loved that she whittled 11 intimate lovers down to nine and said: “Nine lovers does not make me a slut!” Of course, just as Susan and Ian were getting comfortable, Mike came out of his coma. One ridiculous thing: Susan and Ian had the exact same suitcase. Yeah, right.

I was so glad that the weakest link story line of the show showed some promise, especially after Lynette suggested she might play a game called “Finding Fault with Nora” (a game lots of us play each week). Having Nora be the one to tell Lynette that Tom wanted to branch out of advertising proved she wasn’t a complete irritant. When the characters compare their lives to each other’s with sympathy, it’s worthwhile, like Lynette saying to Gabrielle: “I hate my life” and Gaby replying with: “I know. I wouldn’t trade with you for anything.” She may take that statement back next week.

In conclusion, I leave you with these two random funny lines:

- Gaby (seeing the two rabbits closely together at the resort): “What is this, freakin’ Noah’s Ark?”
- The drag queen Pearly Gates explaining her name to Bree: “Because you can’t get to heaven without going through me.” Bree: “How very saucy.”

EW: Journey Women

On ”Desperate Housewives,” an encounter with an old flame makes Gaby face the possibility of being alone; meanwhile, Susan and Ian deal with their pasts, and Orson helps Bree with the Andrew situation by Lindsay Soll

 

Things we learned tonight: The teens of Wisteria Lane can bring a lot of color to otherwise terribly drab episodes.Things we learned but didn’t really care to know: Susan has slept with 11 men in her lifetime. Wait, make that 12, now that Ian has won her over.

The ladies each went on a journey tonight: Susan to the mountains with Ian; Bree to find homeless Andrew, after she saw him on the news; Gabrielle to a spa, where she bedded landscaper John one last time; and Lynette (with loony Nora) to save a helpless Tom on a camping trip with the kids.

Speaking of journeys, Nora needs to take one to a psych ward — or even to an island, because I think all of us are ready to vote her off the show. Just when you think you have her pegged as a total lunatic (directing Lynette’s car into oncoming traffic), she switches personalities (her heart-to-heart in the car with Lynette about Tom’s career gave us a glimpse into what she would act like on Prozac).

Overall, the Lynette-Nora-Tom plot was pointless tonight. Just like Susan and Ian’s magical mountain getaway. It was painful watching them subtly flirt with each other. Why was Susan so awkward when she found the condoms in Ian’s suitcase? She didn’t think he only brought her to his cabin so they could go bird watching, did she? After a long, drawn-out tiff between the budding couple over how many people they each had had sex with, they finally slept together. Hallelujah.

Raise your hands if you were excited to see Jesse Metcalfe! I know I certainly was, but I was a little confused as to how John got so ”mature” so fast. Wasn’t he just 18 or 19 the last time we saw him? Don’t people go to college anymore? I am glad, though, that Gabrielle ran into him after being depressed that her spa vacation was starting to look like ”Noah’s Ark” due to the abundance of twosomes around her. Much to Gaby’s dismay, turns out the new and improved John is engaged (a piece of info he didn’t tell her until after they’d shagged). Their liaison led to the episode’s funniest moment: When John’s fiancé decided to make a surprise visit to see him, Gabrielle hid in a suitcase, unzipping it later in an elevator and telling the horrified couple watching her, ”Don’t laugh — I saved a bundle on airfare.” A classic Gaby one-liner!

Meanwhile on Wisteria Lane, Julie was busy igniting sparks (pun intended) with Edie’s hot nephew Austin, who came over to help her fix a circuit breaker. Edie tried to warn her that bad boys are poison for good girls like her, but you could tell by the way that Julie blushed that something’s gonna happen there. Is it sad that I find Julie’s scenes with Austin to be more exiting than any having to do with her mother’s love life?

Bree’s kids are back in the picture — finally. I think it’s a shame we only saw Danielle at the beginning of the episode because she had one of the funniest lines: ”This really blows — I am thisclose to becoming homecoming queen, and now I’m going to be known as that creepy girl whose brother is a pathetic street junkie.”

I’m not surprised that Andrew didn’t want to have anything to do with Bree when she found him at a homeless shelter. I am surprised, though, at how human and concerned Orson got over seeing his wife so distraught over the ordeal. For a second there, I almost forgot he was a murderer. Then he quickly reminded us again of his sketchy past when he took Andrew to lunch and told him that he ”knows about rage and how it eats you up.” Somehow, Orson convinced Andrew to come back, and I can’t wait to see how that household is going to pan out.

Looks like we’re going to be seeing some more of Edie now, since she was the only one present when Mike came out of his coma (okay, it was a little contrived when he opened his eyes, but I still gasped aloud). Wonder if she’ll ever tell him she checked out his privates before he came to? I’m guessing Susan will not be a happy camper when she finds out that Edie, of all people, was there when he awoke.