Secret Life of An American Teenager Episode Recap

Premierewatch: Ben and Amy get married on ‘The Secret Life of the American Teenager’

Shailenewoodley_secretlifeoftheamer Ah, The Secret Life of the American Teenager. The new season starts off big with a wedding between an increasingly annoying Amy and an increasingly doormat-esque Ben.

With Amy’s mom showing some tough love and refusing to give up her entire newly independent life to raise Amy’s baby (AND refusing to make Amy breakfast…worst mom ever!!!1!), Amy runs straight to Ben and insists that they elope. Wow, so if her mom was trying to bluff her way into getting Amy to consider adoption, that reeeally backfired.

I am going to note here that Amy made me want to jump into the TV and wring her pregnant little neck for the entire hour. Maybe the hormones exponentially amplify every bratty tendency she already had. For example (and there are many such examples): it is SO UNCOOL to tell your little sister that you’re secretly getting married, ask her to get a fake ID to be a witness, and insist that she keep the whole thing a secret from her parents. She’s only thirteen! Don’t you think that might be a little too much pressure to put on her? You suck, Amy. Get out, Ben! Get out while you still can!

Kennybaumann_secretlifeoftheamericaAmidst my Amy-hating, the wedding plans roll forward. With the help of a gossipy purveyor of fake IDs (and how did he know all the details?), the secret wedding becomes common knowledge at school, and snowballs from Amy, Ben, and their two witnesses Henry and Ashley into the hottest party in town. Amy’s two friends appoint themselves surprise bridesmaids, Ricky takes Grace as their first date (because nothing screams “romance” like your baby mama’s wedding), Adrian crashes said date, etc., etc. Despite the many unexpected guests, the wedding goes off without a hitch. How…anticlimactic.

Other happenings

  • Anne insists that George move out, to Ashley’s dismay. But in a hilaaaarious twist, he moves into the garage! Complete with having a urinal installed! ::Canned laughter:: Yeeeah. Between the absurd plot twist, the cheesy zoom-ins, the irritating women’s studies jokes, and the wacky music, I’m wondering if they’re trying to spin Anne and George off into a bad sitcom.
  • Grace’s mom gives her a big talk waiting until marriage, but she’s actually pretty reasonable about keeping an open line of communication and letting Grace get to know Ricky without setting any hard rules. Few complaints there, as a matter of fact.
  • Adrian’s pissed about having to go to another school. Or not. And she and her mom are thinking about her mom getting back together with her dad. Or not. Make up your minds!
  • Tom’s mom sets him up on a date, and it’s love (or at least lust) at first sight. Tom is awesome!
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