Desperate Housewives Episode Recap: “Connect, Connect”


‘Desperate Housewives’: Conflict, resolution

Tonight’s installment of Desperate Housewives was one of those oddities where it felt like nothing much happened, but we were left with quite a bit to talk about by the end of the night.

Dave: We start off with a little backstory on Dave – finding out about the car crash, discovering his wife and child are dead, being committed to a psychiatric facility after a mental breakdown, meeting and marrying Edie after his release (who just so happens to have lived on the same street with the man who killed his family), and then being kicked out by Edie and thus possibly failing to get his revenge. Happily for Dave, Mike’s such a nice guy that he offers to put Dave up while he and Edie are on the outs.

Edie and Susan: While the ladies comfort Edie after hearing about Dave’s surprise past marriage, Susan breaks the news that she’s headed to Riverton with Jackson. In a marvelous plot contrivance, Susan and Edie get trapped in Andrew and Alex’s basement just long enough to fight about Susan stealing Edie’s breakup thunder with her news about moving. Edie, predictably and somewhat correctly, calls Susan needy and pathetic for moving with Jackson, and proves it by creating a timeline of Susan’s relationships. Essentially, she’s never single by choice: “You have holes in your heart that can only be filled by a pair of trousers!”

Susan, in turn, accuses Edie of treating men like they’re disposable. Past-sharing, psychoanalysis, slapping, and shoving ensue. And once they get out of the basement, Edie takes Dave back, saying she “could use a happy ending.” Aww…that’s sad, considering what’s about to happen. And Susan, for her part, decides to try being alone for once.

Mike and Katherine: Dylan wants Katherine to move out to Baltimore, and Katherine wants Mike to ask her to stay. Lady, you’re passive aggressively pressuring the wrong dude. Mike confesses to Dave that he doesn’t want Katherine to go, and Dave questions him about whether he’s really over Susan. Mike corrects him: He’s actually just now realizing that he’s falling in love with Katherine. Something tells me this might not bode well for Katherine. Especially after Mike sends her flowers with a card that says “Don’t go,” and Dave ominously watches them kissing from the window.

Lynette: A retirement home resident comes to complain to Lynette about Porter: “Red hair, with a face you just want to slap.” Yep, that’s Porter. Lynette goes to retrieve him, but grandma already sent him away when she heard they were busted: “Sucks to feel powerless, doesn’t it?” Lynette drives away crying and calling Tom, and after witnessing a car accident, fakes one to smoke out Porter. Wow. I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures, letting your son and mom think you died is pretty cold.

She convinces him to go to court, where the judge throws out Porter’s case for lack of evidence. Lynette’s mom is still upset, though, and has trouble letting go of her anger. In a surprisingly touching scene, considering it’s Lynette, her mom softens and Lynette agrees to visit her in the nursing home with the kids.

Marciacross_desperatehousewives_s4_ Bree: After uncomfortably watching Bree mock Orson’s poor negotiating skills in front of himself and Andrew, Alex point blank asks her to stop, saying that his mom used to emasculate his father like that, and it drove him away. …Wow. I mean, he’s not wrong, but wow. “I’m saying if you’re going to be rude to your husband, could you just not do it in front of me?” At the big barbeque, Bree makes a big production about being nice to Orson’s overcooked steaks before suggesting that Alex was being rude, considering Bree had bought him a house. Alex refuses the house if it’s coming with strings attached. Fair enough, but he kind of was being rude.

Andrew refuses to get into the middle of it, and points out to Bree that since Alex isn’t her son, husband, or employee, he doesn’t have to listen to her. Bree tries to make nice with Alex, but he won’t let her, insisting that they’ll fight again, and shouldn’t make it worse by living on top of each other. Bree acknowledges that she actually needs someone to call her out from time to time, and they come to an understanding based upon his ability to do just that. This has the potential to be awesome, folks.

Gaby: Wow, after watching Eva Longoria set the red carpet on fire tonight, it was a bit of a shock to see her as Gaby again. The girls are upset that Carlos is going to be away for work. Juanita: “We don’t need lots of money.” Gaby: “Hey, what did I say about that kind of language?” Ha! Unfortunately, they refuse to listen to Gaby while Carlos is gone, and she can’t exactly physically carry them where she wants them to go (in fact, she throws out her back trying). Carlos is no help over the phone, and Gaby can’t make them listen without him.

Instead of figuring out how to be the alpha female, Gaby pays the yard guy to yell at them and get them to clean up. Carlos isn’t into it, and reminds Gaby when she complains that he’s no help that this is what she wanted when she insisted he take the high-paying job. Gaby: “I just wanted to have a normal life!” Carlos: “Well guess what, sweetie? Dad’s unhappy at work, Mom’s at home with the screaming kids. You got one.” That’s very, very grim. Remind me to never become a desperate housewife.

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