Desperate Houswives Episode Recap: 5.21 ‘Bargaining’

‘Desperate Housewives’: Jackson’s back, and he’s got a small favor to ask

Source: Recaps

On Desperate Housewives, it seems food and sex are legal tender. Food, sex, and slumber party invitations. Though the substance of the episode was largely forgettable, there were several laugh out loud (and “ew “out loud) moments, and the Dave plot is still thankfully lumbering toward its conclusion.

Lynette and Tom, it seems, have made a pact to do it every day for a month. You know, for the sake of their marriage. Bottom line, Tom is feeling a little unfulfilled with no job and no crazy dream to focus on, be it a vintage car, a pizza place, or a band. Might I suggest a private investigation business? You’d make a mint on Wisteria Lane…

Bree doesn’t want to share her business with Orson in the divorce, so she tries to hire the sharkiest divorce lawyer in town: Karl. Before he’ll take her on as a client, Karl asks Bree to get his son Evan into MJ’s sleepover – his feelings are hurt at being left out, but MJ doesn’t want him there because he’s a bully. MJ: “He hit me with a dead squirrel.” Bree: “Now MJ, we can find faults with all our friends if we nitpick.” Ha! Once Karl takes her on, Bree agrees to lie, cheat, and steal her way to a beneficial settlement. And then goes home and agrees to sex Orson up in exchange for breakfast in the morning. This episode made me feel dirty, you guys.

In a plot that was a bit too Full House for my liking, Juanita tries to copy Gaby’s model days by wearing makeup, so Carlos makes Gaby attend a fancy dinner barefaced to show that beauty is on the inside. (Or rather, “barefaced,” because no one looks that good without any makeup on, right? …Right???) Cue Gaby telling everyone, “I’m not ill, I’m just not wearing any makeup,” and then stealing a lady’s makeup in the bathroom in order to pose for a photo. She and Juanita have a lovely chat afterwards about self-esteem and being a grownup and yawn…since when does Gaby channel Danny Tanner?

Jackson is back, and he wants Susan to marry him. Susan freaks out and cries, telling him how much she’s missed him and how she still loves him. And yup, it totally IS for a visa, because Jackson IS Canadian. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. (Note: I laughed anyway.) After later claiming that she was just feeling lonely, Susan agrees to help. No love, no sex, just marriage. Ha. Jackson: “No sex?” Susan: “You want people to think this is a real marriage, don’t you?” And this is gonna be bitter for Katherine, since after a little pressure Mike admitted that he doesn’t see himself getting married again.

Dave offers to take MJ and Susan fishing at some child-killing lake. Before they can go, the cops track Dave down with questions about Dr. Heller, whom they’ve finally identified as the fire’s victim. They mention that they’re looking for Jackson as an additional witness. And Susan has to cancel the fishing trip because she’s getting married…to Jackson. Hmm. I don’t see this ending well for our Canadian friend.

Desperate Housewives Episode Recap: “Rose’s Turn”

Hey, Mary Alice! What’s Sunday’s episode of Desperate Housewives about? “Everyone has something they want to keep hidden,” she says. Orson is hiding his role in Edie’s death. Lynette and Tom are hiding their respective perceptions of infidelity. And Dave is still hiding his true intentions when it comes to Mike, Katherine, Susan and now… M.J.? Read the full recap after the jump…. read more

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