90210 Episode Recap: “By Accident”

Ryan returns to West Beverly but seems to have lost his spark. Kelly and Naomi learn who Adrianna’s real baby-daddy is, and Dixon finally tells Silver how he feels…..read more

‘90210’: I DO need you to move your car

Zap2it.com

Last time on 90210… Dixon said, “I love you” and Silver freaked, Adrianna got some girlfriend support from I Moan regarding the baby, and a long time ago Mr. Mathews had an affair with a sort-of student and then ran off to South Dakota.

We come upon Mr. Mathews back at school, worried that he won’t be teaching much longer because he is no longer “making a difference.” Kelly tries to talk to him but he’s cold and brushes her off.

Annie is preparing to audition for “Antony and Cleopatra.” She wants to be Cleopatra, adding that Grandma Awesome was up for the movie role but that Elizabeth Taylor “stole her part, that violet-eyed hussy.” Hilarious. THe new drama teacher tells Annie she’s looking forward to her audition, based on the video of “Spring Awakening.” Annie preens and then railroads Ethan into auditioning too. It has also not escaped my attention that Adrianna just LOOKS like Cleopatra. Or Elizabeth Taylor’s version, anyway.

Speaking of Adrianna, she tells I Moan that she is auditioning for a toothpaste commercial and also the school show. I Moan questions Adrianna’s amount of caffeine consumption and then asks if she’s been to the doctor recently. Adrianna begs off. Later, I Moan brings Kelly to Adrianna’s audition for a little intervention. They confront her about taking care of herself because she’s at a high risk for so many problems. I Moan then blurts out that Adrianna should have an abortion. Kelly doesn’t want her to be hasty. They start talking about her like she’s not there and Adrianna storms off.

Mr. Mathews is back in class and he’s really cracking the whip all of a sudden. He has also transfered Silver out of his class. He cites her calling him a “child-molesting pervert” on her blog. Wow, that’s kind of petty. For all she knew, he was sleeping with a student. If there were such a thing as blogs back when I was in high school, I would’ve blogged about that too.

Lunch at school. Silver is indignant about Mr. Mathews kicking her out of class. She defends her blogging and Dixon points out that Mr. Mathews has feelings and probably didn’t want to be hurt by what she said, but he was anyway. It’s a thinly-veiled analogy for Dixon’s feelings towards Silver’s rebuke at the “I love you.” Silver doesn’t get it, which I don’t buy because she’s the sharpest person on the show. She only sees him as speaking about Mr. Mathews, not himself. Silver gets off and running about writing the best Heart of Darkness paper Mr. Mathews has ever seen in order to win him back. Dixon is crushed.

I Moan’s House. Her father is selling the house and has a perky, blonde real estate agent to help him. And we all know that a perky, blonde real estate agent introduced in the first act has to go off in the third act. Guess we’ll see.  Anyway, I Moan’s mother is not coming back from New York for awhile so she has to go live with her dad and Gail. I Moan is essentially being abandoned, which totally sucks. Her parents are ridiculous.

Elsewhere, Adrianna drives her car, drinks coffee, and eats energy bars all night. She keeps checking her phone and I have the impending doom of an accident coming on. She’ll crash and risk the baby and it’ll turn her all around. Can’t you just feel it? Not 5 seconds after I type that, she almost has a wreck and starts crying. Wow, that could’ve gotten me more emotionally-invested than it did. It does prompt Adrianna to drive to a women’s clinic, though. Hmmm. [cocks eyebrow]

I Moan’s Dad’s House, where she now lives with him and Gail. Gail confronts I Moan at breakfast about her late-night showers and then her father orders her to sit down and have breakfast with them. Gross. They’ll be lucky if I Moan doesn’t stab them in their sleep.

Silver’s Bedroom. She’s going crazy on her Heart of Darkness paper and tells Kelly about being transfered out. Kelly is perturbed. At school, she confronts Mr. Mathews about him transferring Silver out of his class because of their history. He tells her that he’s burnt out and she can’t believe he won’t even read Silver’s paper that she wrote for a class she’s no longer in.

“Antony and Cleopatra” auditions. Ty is back, reciting Shakespeare to Annie and asking her to “rehearse” before the audition. Ethan and Ty take their turns peeing in a circle around Annie, it’s kind of gross. Guys are so dumb. Ethan does get in a good crack about how tight Ty wears his jeans, though. Snerk. Later, Annie and Ty have a good audition together, but he finds a way to passive-aggressively criticize her. What’s he up to? Sneaky.

Later, Adrianna shows up and wants to audition, saying she was at a doctor’s appointment. She begs and pleads to do the suicide scene and when Ms. Casey refuses, she just does it anyway. It’s darn good, if a little short. I would’ve liked to see more, but still good. Across town, I Moan arrives at her house to pick up some stuff and finds her dad schtupping the perky, blonde real estate agent. Offff course she does.

Wilson House. Debbie suggests they invite Silver over for dinner, but Dixon hesitates. Time for a mother/son chatty-chat. He confesses about the “I love you” and Debbie relays a cute anecdote about people not being mind-readers and how she got Harry to give her flowers by saying, “I want flowers.” Hahaha. And totally true.

The beach. Adrianna and I Moan sit by a fire. Adrianna confides to I Moan about never being the same again because she either has a kid or she has an abortion. She won’t know how to go back to being normal. She then relays the story of her almost-accident, her big decision and her trip to the woman’s clinic. She says she couldn’t have an abortion and I Moan says she understands. Adrianna corrects her and says that she CAN’T because she’s too far along. So the decision was taken out of her hands, which totally sucks. If the guy is someone from rehab, she’d be… what? 3 months along? That doesn’t seem right to me, but whatever. Forget it, Andrea. It’s 90210.

The next day, I Moan tells her father she’s not coming back, that she’s staying at a hotel suite until her mom comes back. When he says no, she says that he hasn’t EARNED the right to parent her. You go girl! She tells him about the perky, blonde real estate agent and then walks off with, “I don’t need a father anymore, but thanks. But I DO need you to move your car.”

School. Mr. Mathews praises Silver’s Heart of Darkness paper and invites her back in the class. Elsewhere, the cast list for “Antony and Cleopatra” is posted and MAN, where is the drama teacher from? This is killing me! I know that lady! Annie is mad about getting a servant girl part, Ethan is excited about being Marty the Eunuch (snerk) and Adrianna gets Cleopatra.

Speaking of Adrianna, she has a heart-to-heart with I Moan and Kelly about doctor appointments and whatnot. Kelly asks about the father and Adrianna confesses that it’s Ty, from before rehab. Well, that IS interesting. He’s Antony to her Cleopatra, as he informs her when he comes up to say hello. Awk-ward.

Wilson House. Annie sulks about not being cast as Cleopatra. Ethan comes over to get her for the cast & crew dinner and she begs off. He’s a little bummed but she tells him to go anyway without her. Boy, is that a classic Girl Trap. Hmmm. DON’T DO IT, ETHAN! SHE’LL MAKE YOU PAY LATER!

At the dinner, Ms. Casey the director meets Mr. Mathews. He is wondering if she could come to his class and talk about Antony and Cleopatra for him. She compliments him on being a passionate teacher and they flirt. Good God, is there anybody he WON’T hook up with? Kelly, Brenda, Kim the “student” and now Ms. Casey? Are you effing kidding me? He’s a walking hormone.

Dixon shows up and Silver won’t shut up about the Heart of Darkness paper and getting back in Mr. Mathews class. He tells her for someone so insightful, she can be pretty dense. He holds her hand and says, “I know you’re not a mind-reader … The fight that we had at the beach. It freaked me out. I know you’re intense and I get that. You have big moods and a lot of them. I get that. You’re stormy … so I’m going to break up with you … it’s over.” and he just walks away. Silver is stunned. Wow. That is SO the opposite of Debbie’s advice!

I Moan and Adrianna hang out and I Moan drops a “my hotel.” She is SO Logan Echolls now! Awesome. Adrianna can move in and be her Duncan! Ty shows up and waves at Adrianna, who wants to just avoid him for now.

Annie’s Sulkfest. Her mom relays the story about not getting an internship at Vogue and instead getting an internship at a local paper, implying that that’s where she met Harry. All together now… “Awwww!” Annie has a whole lot of “bummed out” feelings about not getting the lead and also being jealous. They make her feel a little better and she calls Ethan about coming to the party. He’s driving and talking on the phone, where he runs a stop sign and Annie just hears the sound of a car crash. Yikes. Apparently the perky, blonde real estate agent was not the only gun introduced in the first act that had to go off in the third act.

Will Ethan be okay? How will Ty react to the baby? Will Mr. Mathews ever be able to keep it in his pants?