Gossip Girl Episode Recap: “Gone With the Will”

Blood Is Unfortunately Thicker Than Water on ‘Gossip Girl’

Zap2it.com

Blakelively8_gossipgirl_s1_240 Last week’s Gossip Girl brought us a step closer to the total dissolution of Chuck Bass, while Blair denounced growing up and Rufus and Lily took a small step towards embracing it. We bore gleeful witness to the Mean Girlification of Nelly Yuki. Nate was missed. Vanessa was not.

Chuck Bass prepares for the reading of his father’s will by parting his hair on the side and slapping on the Union Jack cufflinks, like you do. Uncle Jack escorts Blair into the Palace while telling her that he wants to see her again, after what happened on New Year’s. (Ok, I finally figured it out – Jack Bass looks like Christian Bale, but 50% less hot. See also: Eric Mabius.) Hey, Nate! Nate is here! So is Nate’s hair! Blair listens at the door while the will is being read. Tres charmant. Lily’s lawyer is there repping Lily, and Uncle Jack is named Chuck’s guardian; Chuck’s assets are being held in trust until his eighteenth birthday. Bass Industries will be 29% controlled by the board, 20% by Lily Bass, and…Bart has left a letter for Chuck, which he refuses to read. Blair, bless her heart, busts in and reads it aloud: it essentially says that Bart was always so cruel to Chuck to toughen him up to prepare him for Bart’s death (say what now?) and that the remaining 51% share belongs to him. Chuck shrugs it off and tells Jack he can have it. Blair chases him outside and demands that Chuck finish the letter, while Jack stares creepily through the window at them.

Pennbadgley9_gossipgirl_s1_240 Meanwhile, poor people talk about parental dalliances in Brooklyn, and Dan hits “ignore” when Serena calls him. She walks down the street, listening to her little brother bemoan Jenny’s appearance at all of his dates with Jonathan. Eric then runs into Jenny and Jonathan, squeeing and cooing and making plans for a Hitchcock film fest tonight. At Constance/St. Jude’s, Serena tells Dan that she spoke to Lily and that Lily and Rufus aren’t back together, so Dan can kindly remove his pants now, or something to that effect. Speaking of Lily and Rufus, they sit on a waiting room couch at a Boston adoption agency; Dan calls his father and tells him that he hates lying to Serena, while the Headbands listen in. Penelope shoots a quick li’l email to gg.net proclaiming that Dan is cheating on Serena.

Edwestwick8_gossipgirl_s1_240 Chuck walks into his father’s office and tells his uncle that he finished reading the letter. He tells Jack that he is indeed going to take over Bass Industries; Jack tells him that this can wait until Chuck turns 18, that Chuck isn’t ready. Chuck tells Jack that he will find a place for him in the company, and squints menacingly. At school, Dan picks up the contents of his locker that have been dumped all over the floor as Blair takes an “apologetic” call from Jack, who suggests that they throw Chuck a surprise party to celebrate his takeover of Bass Industries. Then he hangs up and makes a Georgina Sparks face. Ruh roh. In Boston, the adoption agent (?) tells Rufus and Lily that the child hasn’t filed the paperwork to allow him to be found. The agent offers to contact the adoptive parents to see what their thoughts are on Rufus and Lily contacting their son. At school, Serena attempts to counsel Blair about Chuck, and Blair tells S that Gossip Girl is searching for evidence that Dan is cheating on Serena.

Jessicaszohr_gossipgirl_240 Ew Vanessa! She’s at Dylan’s Candy Bar getting Nate a paint can of swedish fish and another of gummy worms for their two-month anniversary. She gets Dan to tell her what is going on with him (the whole adoption thing) as Nelly Yuki listens in and overacts compulsively. Dan drops his phone, which Nelly Yuki pockets. Just then OMG Muppet Babies! Mini Serena asks Dan how he could cheat on Serena again, while Mini Hazel asks “V” how she failed upward from Dan to Nate. Heh. At the Palace, Jack apologizes to Chuck and offers to take him out tonight, blowing off his dinner with Blair. Oh, there are unattractive women, and a Gossip Girl voiceover that makes no sense until you realize that for some reason they subtracted a reference to cocaine, and then still makes no sense. Serena goes to the gallery to ask Vanessa what is going on with Dan, and Vanessa tells her she doesn’t know. Vanessa looks tormented, or maybe just in need of a good eye cream. At dinner, the Headbands praise Nelly Yuki’s sticktoitiveness, and of course V chooses this moment to text Dan – that is, the Headbands – about “Rufus and Lily’s child.” Blair breaks out the candles and the cleavage for Chuck only to be canceled upon.

Kellyrutherford2_gossipgirl_240 The next morning, Lily and Rufus sit in a hotel in Boston, waiting for a phone call: it arrives, bearing the news that the child’s parents don’t want him to be found. At Chuck’s surprise brunch, Blair tells S that Chuck canceled their dinner. Serena makes the Eyebrows of Suspicion at her and Blair snaps that she can’t wait til Serena gets Botox. Heh. I love you, show. Jack texts Blair that he and Chuck are pulling up. Dan and Jenny arrive (Jenny in a SLIP DRESS over a BLACK TURTLENECK, like Courtney Love and Lisa Loeb birthed some sort of demon spawn circa “Reality Bites”) and Serena gushes over her semi-boyfriend. Dan mumbles something about waffles, because waffles are the only currency that Humphreys understand. Jack walks in to a round of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”, a bizarre Anglicism that is horrifically Blair, until she shuts it down. Jack begins to tell her that Chuck went to his office “after the night we had” before the Headbands interrupt Blair to tell her about the Gossip Girl “hit” they put out on Dan. Penelope asks for Blair’s permission to release the info they have, which Blair gives before finding out WHAT that info is. Jack begins gladhanding board members, sending them off to Chuck’s office, with Blair leading the way.

Taylormomsen4_gossipgirl_240 Jenny gets upset when Eric gently tries to disinvite her from just one date with Jonathan. She storms out while Serena and Dan have some weird business involving eclairs that are reserved for Chuck? Is that some sort of craft-service inside joke? Just then, the gg blast goes out, and Jenny’s face falls as everyone turns to stare at Dan and Serena. The music comes up – “you can only take so much” – as Serena turns and walks away; as Blair leads the board members into the office to find Chuck doing drugs with two lingerie-clad hookers; as Serena begs her boyfriend to tell her it isn’t true; as Jenny and Eric stare at each other, realizing that they are closer to brother and sister than they ever knew. Blair downs a glass of champagne as Chuck confronts her about throwing the party. Dan tries to tell his assembled family – because that’s what it is now, him and Jenny and Serena and Eric, a family, whether they like it or not – that they need to take time to process this, as Serena walks away. In Boston, Rufus tells Lily that he isn’t ready to leave; they fight, and Lily admits that despite everything she’s still in love with Rufus, as he kisses her. They wake up in each other’s arms, reminiscing about their youth, as Rufus’ phone rings with the news that the adoptive father wants to meet with them in secret. He approaches them at a restaurant and tells them that their son Andrew drowned last year. He tells them that it was too painful for his wife to talk about, and shows Rufus the obituary from the newspaper. Why do I not believe anything this guy says?

Matthewsettle8_gossipgirl_s1_240 At the Palace, Chuck confronts his uncle, who admits that he can’t stand being banished to Australia. He tells Chuck that his appointment came with a morality clause, which Chuck has already violated, placing Jack in charge of the company. Serena and Eric talk about the adoption, and that it smells of Grandma Cece: “gin and Chanel No. 5”. Serena wonders if she and Dan can get through this, and Eric tells her that she cannot push Dan away right now. Speaking of, Dan shows up at the gallery looking for Vanessa, but finds Nate instead. Nate tells Dan that when he went through a horrible public humiliation, it showed him who his true friends were. Then he looks pretty some more. Chuck arrives Chez Waldorf, bearing peonies (Blair’s favorite, and mine) and tells Blair that Jack set him up. Blair tells him that she believed in him, as did Bart – only Chuck didn’t believe in Chuck, or in Blair, and so she can’t do it anymore. The Humphrey kids sit in the kitchen and don’t talk about what happened, only to find the Van der Woodsen kids at their front door. Dan apologizes to Serena, who is surreally lovely and gracious about the whole thing. Jenny and Eric apologize simultaneously and craft PB&Js. The  adoptive father and his wife talk about how they had to lie to Rufus and Lily: they already lost one son, and can’t lose another to these big-city types with their money and their lawyers. Rufus and Lily arrive at the Humphrey loft; as Lily tells Rufus that maybe they weren’t meant to be a family, they open the door to find their assorted children eating sandwiches and drinking milk in the kitchen.

Next week: a new teacher and a badder Blair.

New House Spoilers: Cuddy’s Maternity Leave

Are we going to see more Huddy when House returns?
Lisa Edelstein tells me, “When we come back, there is a lot of House-Cuddy stuff going on.” Word! Still, don’t expect it to be all happy times: Cuddy will definitely have her hands full with her new bundle of joy. “I think the things that a baby brings are things you can’t necessarily prepare for, so she’s got some difficulties coming up,” she adds. And some time off. Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) will take over Princeton-Plainsboro while Cuddy goes on a little maternity leave. — Source: Kristin on E!Online

New 90210 Spoilers: Old Cast Members Return!

90210 Art Streiber/ The CW

Anngillespie Tell me there are more old 90210 characters coming back to the show. I want to see a familiar face.
Well, if you’re hoping for Dylan McKay, don’t hold your breath. But if you’re cool with seeing Jackie Taylor again, you can get excited. Word is, Kelly and Silver’s loony mom will soon make a return appearance. — Source: Zap2It’s Korbi TV

90210′ scoop: Tori Spelling in final talks to rev up Bev

by Michael Ausiello

Torispelling_l I’d love to say I hate to say “I told you so,” but who are we kidding? I love to (and I think perversely, you kinda like it when I do, too). And back in November I told you that by the end of 90210 V. 2.0’s freshman year Tori Spelling would likely be back among the fold as former virgin Donna Martin. Now, a show rep confirms that Spelling is in “final negotiations” to return for multiple episodes, adding that her deal could close as early as today.

Reportedly, a big point of contention for Spelling, who’s currently in Vancouver shooting her big Smallville return, was the threat of crossing paths again with sworn frenemy Shannen Doherty. But since the artist formerly known as Brenda Walsh has wrapped for the season, the set will be a Shan-free zone when La Spelling reports for duty on the last few eps.

One Tree Hill Episode Recap: “A Hand to Take Hold of the Scene”

By Carrie Raisler, Zap2it.com

Hilarieburton_onetreehill_s5_240One Tree Hill is heavy on the romance tonight, with two new couples just beginning, another one ending, and the remaining two standing surprisingly strong. This light, fun hour is the perfect way to recover from the melodrama of last week.

Brooke and Sam are dealing with the aftermath of last week’s confrontation with creepy Brooke-beater, with Sam repeatedly trying to get in touch with creepy Brooke-beater’s brother Jack to no avail. She finally tracks him down and tries to assuage his fears about having to go to a foster home, letting him know that she’ll always be there for him. And…yawn. Listen, I am warming up to Sam but I don’t think she needs to have her own storylines and scenes yet. Her with Brooke? Is perfectly fine. Her with other random people? Is a bit too much, too soon.

As for Brooke, Julian stops by her apartment to check in on her and deliver the latest tabloid cover about her exploits with vigilante justice. Julian is extremely understanding, supportive, and — dare I say it — cute during this encounter. Could I be warming to this impending Brooke/Julian pairing? Seeing as Julian is about 20 times more interesting than any new character has been on this show in a while, all signs point to yes. They agree to meet later that night to go over costumes for the film and all of Brooke’s friends call it a date until even Brooke herself believes it and completely overdresses for the meeting, causing awkwardness. They get down to work and during the course of the night Julian admits that he feels like he knows her because of the book, saying he read it for Peyton but related to it because of her. They continue to talk and suddenly the wine, candles and dim lighting are making this so-called meeting seem a lot like a real-life date. They try to keep things all business but can’t hold back their feelings, and their “meeting” ends in a kiss. I think they’re cute! I’m sure since he is Peyton’s ex this is all going to go to hell, but I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Peyton is busy doing the time-honored tradition of women who just found out they’re pregnant by stuffing something under their shirt so they see what they’ll look like in nine months. When Lucas catches her in the act she pouts, saying “I just realized I’m going to be pregnant on our wedding day, and that is so redneck.” Hee. Peyton is also worried about telling Brooke about the pregnancy considering how much Brooke wants a baby of her own, but when she spills the news it turns out Brooke is only upset because she just finished Peyton’s wedding dress and it has a corset. A painstakingly hand stitched corset. Hee, again.

Lucas and Peyton take care of Jamie and Andre (Q’s little brother) for “practice” being parents and, although they go all out planning what they think is the perfect kids night (movies, macaroni arts and crafts and Mouse Trap), they all end up playing poker instead because Jamie is 6 going on 36. The boys quickly tire Lucas and Peyton out, and when Nathan and Haley arrive they find Jamie awake and Lucas and Peyton down for the count. I feel their pain. I watched my six-year-old niece for one day over the Christmas holidays and MAN I slept good that night. Overall, the babysitting experience went very well and taught them that they will be just fine as parents.

Mouth and Millicent, meanwhile, meet to go over the aftermath of their boring and failed relationship. When Mouth acts possessive over Millie giving her virginity to someone other than him, Millicent wisely and maturely responds: “My virginity was mine, Marvin. It was never yours.” Preach it, girl. Mouth warns Millie to have fun telling Brooke about sleeping with Owen, and I am curious as to why Brooke would care. She rejected Owen numerous times, and in the end wanted nothing to do with him. Of course, the show stupidly makes Brooke care because they are all about inconsistent characterizations, and when Millie confesses Brooke meanly orders her out of the house. Thank goodness at the last minute Brooke sees how upset Millie is and gives her a hug instead. Brooke even goes to Mouth on Millie’s behalf and argues that what Millie did doesn’t have to be the end of their relationship, but Mouth disagrees. Millie shows up later, drunk, and offers herself to Mouth Joey Potter-style, but before he can accept or deny she has to excuse herself to be sick. Good call, Millie. After cleaning herself up, Millie apologizes and tells Mouth she is going to take a job in New York. Mouth agrees this would be best. Is this the end? I, for one, sure do hope so.

Mia is back again and working with Haley when Chase shows up to ask her out, and after embarrassing himself with a technological snafu Mia says yes. Mia starts freaking out about the date and threatens to cancel, until Haley steps in and offers to make it a double date with her and Nathan to ease any awkwardness. They meet at Tric for karaoke night and when Mia and Haley sign up to sing Nathan points out the inherent unfairness of this to the rest of the singers in the crowd. Luckily for those who can’t carry a tune, they actually secretly signed Nathan and Chase up to sing together instead, which the boys do gamely to “Bust a Move.” This is all intercut with little Jamie and Andre singing the same song on a karaoke machine at Peyton and Lucas’ house, by the way. Do I even need to point out the wrongness of two six-year-olds singing the lyrics “A chick walks by and you wish you could sex her but you’re standing on the wall like you was Poindexter?” Someone call child services! What are they going to sing next, “Lollipop?” Thinking about this nearly ruins my delight at seeing James Lafferty and Stephen Coletti rapping and dancing around like idiots. Nearly but not quite, because it’s rather silly and dorky and fun and cute, and nothing could completely ruin it. When Chase reveals that he is definitely into Mia, Nathan’s advice to him on having a touring girlfriend is basically, trust her but “If she ever meets someone named Chris Keller, you punch first and ask questions later.” Ha! At the end of the date, Chase panics and goes for the easy hug even though Mia is obviously putting out the “kiss me” vibes, but as he’s leaving thinks twice about it and goes back to lay one on Mia. They’re sort of cute, but I’m having a hard time remembering why I’m supposed to care. Except for the CHASE factor, they’re pretty snoozeville.

Greek Spoilers: Meet Calvin’s new crush

‘Greek’ exclusive: Meet Calvin’s new gay crush

by Michael Ausiello

Gregorymichaelgreek_lGreek‘s stereotype-shattering gay brother, Calvin, is going to literally have his hands full this semester. (Oh, no he di’int. Oh, yes I did.)

Gregory Michael, who honed his boy-on-boy craft during three years on the gay-themed supernatural soap Dante’s Cove, is joining the ABC Family hit as a love interest for Calvin (Paul James), sources confirm to me exclusively.

Michael’s character is described as a genetically-blessed (see pic, left), closeted Omega Chi active who comes out to Calvin — which is all well and good until the two end up rooming together. Sexual tension abounds, as does some serious heavy petting (or whatever it is the kids are calling it these days).

Michael will recur throughout Greek‘s new season, which premieres on Monday, March 30 at 8 pm/ET.

Gossip Girl Spoilers: Is Gossip Girl’s Love Child Alive?

Source: Kristin on E!Online

Penn Badgley, Blake Lively
Eric Liebowitz/ The CW

Get ready for the next huge Gossip Girl shocker!

As you fans know, the show’s cornerstone couple, Dan and Serena, have hit a snag: They apparently now share a secret half brother. (Oh, the romance-killing humanity!) His dad, Rufus, and her mom, Lily, are on the hunt to find this long-lost son she gave up for adoption.

So…Is this half bro alive and kicking? Or is there hope for Dan and Serena?

Is Lily and Rufus’ son alive on Gossip Girl? I hope not!
I’m told Rufus and Lily will be told that he’s dead, but then later find out he is not. Yep, Dan and Serena’s romance-slaying half sibling is most definitely among the living, and according to sources, the producers plan to cast some hot new guy to come to the show either later this season or early in season three. So what does this mean for D and S? Is there any way to keep them together now? Let’s discuss in the comments!

Give us some good Gossip Girl scoop!
A huge core couple is going to get back together. And trust me, it’s not anyone you would think would get back together. And trust me, I will cry.

Brothers & Sisters Episode Recap

Brothers & Sisters: Family, business

Zap2it.com

Calistaflockhart_brothersandsisters The Walkers are all up in each others’ business this week on Brothers & Sisters — which is hardly unusual, but this time, it’s actually mostly about business. Well, sort of — even when they’re talking about loans or potential new jobs or takeover plans, there tends to be a whole lot more going on beneath the surface.

This spoiler looks adorable in a hard hat.

Greenatopia is in trouble — they’re preparing for a conference that will be crawling with investors, but it looks like they don’t have the money to get the product done in time. Sarah vents to Nora, which Sarah had to know was a mistake. Sure enough, Nora tells Kitty, who is flush with cash because her book is doing well. Nora asks Kitty to lend Sarah the money, but do it subtly, so Sarah thinks it’s her own idea.

Problem: Sarah is not easily led, and Kitty is too impatient to coax her into asking for money. Kitty whips out a check. Ethan and Kyle are thrilled, but Sarah is furious: You don’t get to come in here and wave your money around like you’re so much better than me… I don’t need handouts! The Startups are more than happy to take handouts, but Sarah finally pushes Kitty too far, and she snatches the check back and stalks out.

Score one for Sarah’s pride, but it’s a problem for the company, because the small business loan she applied for was denied. Nora gently chides Sarah for never wanting to ask for help, and Sarah finally relents. She asks Kitty for the loan, but Kitty refuses — you made some good points when we fought before, and can’t you take out a second mortgage on your home? Are you crazy? That’s too risky! Sarah says. That… was not the correct response.

Kitty, meanwhile, is dealing with her book tour, and discovering that no one but Nora will be attending her reading. Oh, come on! The book tour is a big deal, and all the seats reserved for Walkers remain empty. This family sometimes… But it’s enough to get Kitty to realize that she hates them all and if they can’t support her, she doesn’t need them. Kidding! She decides to help Sarah by co-signing on the mortgage. Greenatopia lives!

Robert and Kevin
Roblowe_brothersandsisters_240 The reason Robert and Kevin weren’t at the reading is because Robert was meeting with Gordon Alexander, a political power broker in Sacramento. Robert tells Kevin to keep this quiet, but surely that doesn’t mean keep it from Kitty, right? Yeah, it does — when Kevin tells her, she gets pissy because she realizes Robert is feeling out Alexander for support on running for governor.

Kevin admits that he told Kitty, and Robert reads him the riot act. You’re my staffer, and I need to be able to tell you things without you blabbing them to anyone, including your sister. I tend to think hiring Kevin for a non-blabbing position was problematic to begin with, but Robert doesn’t listen to me when I yell at the TV. Kevin eventually agrees, which is when Robert reveals that yes, he’s running for governor, and no, he doesn’t want Kitty to know until things are set. Robert tells Kevin he won’t have to lie to his sister… but that’s just what Kevin does.

Nora
Nora is put out because Roger is an egotistical ass who is bent on designing whatever he damn well feels like while belittling anything Nora says. He sends over  a model that’s a bunch of modernist cubes with a glass tower, which is NOT what Nora wanted at all. When Roger tells her not to worry her pretty little head about it, Nora snaps and smashes the model with an umbrella. Hee!

Nora resolves to give herself a crash course in architecture (“So when I tell him to shove it up his flying buttress, I know exactly where it’s going,” she tells Saul), but in the process of doing so, she realizes that Roger is actually really, really good. Like, maybe his genius isn’t just self-proclaimed. She apologizes for doubting him, then reasserts that what he gave her isn’t what she needs. Roger hands the project over to an associate. But later, when Nora goes to he site to praise the associate’s design, she discovers that Roger did it himself. He likes the challenge of working with her, he says.

Tommy and Saul
Balthazargetty_brothersandsisters_2 Tommy presents a proposal to Saul: We buy up a nearby orchard using a shell company, sell the land to Ojai for stock, and use that to regain control  and oust Holly! Saul says no — what he’s suggesting is perilously close to illegal, and that’s not how Saul rolls. But after Tommy and Sarah discuss how ballsy William was — he raided the pension fund to get money for an investment! (Hang on, is that legal?)  — Tommy puts the plan in motion.

But Tommy’s sneaky. He wanders into Rebecca’s office, says a few things about needing more land, and makes Rebecca think it’s her idea to start searching for nearby orchard space. Holly is always willing to listen to her daughter, who she thinks is a natural-born businesswoman. In this case? It looks like Rebecca is also a pawn.

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

  • Seriously, I can’t believe that NONE of the Walker siblings — or Saul, or Robert! — showed up for Kitty’s book signing.
  • Kitty learns that there will be a media event after the book signing, and asks Nora what she should wear — “Should I sell the sizzle or the steak?” After Nora clucks that it’s demeaning for a woman to compare herself to a side of beef, Nora says “The sizzle. Look at Ann Coulter — she sells millions of books, and believe me, there ain’t no protein in that package.”
  • Poor Ethan and Kyle — they had no idea what they were getting into signing up with a Walker. Kitty walks in with a check, and they think they’re saved, but then it’s time for Walker family fireworks. Ethan even tried sucking up to Kitty — “I voted republican once!” Nice try, kid.
  • Roger really is a condescending jerk. Even when admitting he was wrong (sort of), he tells Nora the conflict — and encountering someone who didn’t roll over and do what he wanted — was “bracing.” “What that a compliment?” Nora asks. “It was more a compliment for myself,” Roger replies. “Do you do that a lot?” Nora sighs, exasperated. “Not enough,” Roger says.
  • Nora tells Kitty not to hide her light under a bushel just to make Sarah more comfortable. I gave your father loads of ideas and let him take credit for them. “I was a more powerful woman than I let myself be,” Nora says. That’s probably the case, but I don’t think it’s a danger Kitty really faces. She seems more than willing to stick up for herself and demand credit. What she needs to work on is not being so abrasive, and realizing that Sarah is incredibly insecure around Kitty. What Sarah needs to work on is getting over that.

Desperate Housewives Episode Recap: “Connect, Connect”

Evalongoria_desperatehousewives_s4_

‘Desperate Housewives’: Conflict, resolution

Zap2it.com

Tonight’s installment of Desperate Housewives was one of those oddities where it felt like nothing much happened, but we were left with quite a bit to talk about by the end of the night.

Dave: We start off with a little backstory on Dave – finding out about the car crash, discovering his wife and child are dead, being committed to a psychiatric facility after a mental breakdown, meeting and marrying Edie after his release (who just so happens to have lived on the same street with the man who killed his family), and then being kicked out by Edie and thus possibly failing to get his revenge. Happily for Dave, Mike’s such a nice guy that he offers to put Dave up while he and Edie are on the outs.

Edie and Susan: While the ladies comfort Edie after hearing about Dave’s surprise past marriage, Susan breaks the news that she’s headed to Riverton with Jackson. In a marvelous plot contrivance, Susan and Edie get trapped in Andrew and Alex’s basement just long enough to fight about Susan stealing Edie’s breakup thunder with her news about moving. Edie, predictably and somewhat correctly, calls Susan needy and pathetic for moving with Jackson, and proves it by creating a timeline of Susan’s relationships. Essentially, she’s never single by choice: “You have holes in your heart that can only be filled by a pair of trousers!”

Susan, in turn, accuses Edie of treating men like they’re disposable. Past-sharing, psychoanalysis, slapping, and shoving ensue. And once they get out of the basement, Edie takes Dave back, saying she “could use a happy ending.” Aww…that’s sad, considering what’s about to happen. And Susan, for her part, decides to try being alone for once.

Mike and Katherine: Dylan wants Katherine to move out to Baltimore, and Katherine wants Mike to ask her to stay. Lady, you’re passive aggressively pressuring the wrong dude. Mike confesses to Dave that he doesn’t want Katherine to go, and Dave questions him about whether he’s really over Susan. Mike corrects him: He’s actually just now realizing that he’s falling in love with Katherine. Something tells me this might not bode well for Katherine. Especially after Mike sends her flowers with a card that says “Don’t go,” and Dave ominously watches them kissing from the window.

Lynette: A retirement home resident comes to complain to Lynette about Porter: “Red hair, with a face you just want to slap.” Yep, that’s Porter. Lynette goes to retrieve him, but grandma already sent him away when she heard they were busted: “Sucks to feel powerless, doesn’t it?” Lynette drives away crying and calling Tom, and after witnessing a car accident, fakes one to smoke out Porter. Wow. I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures, letting your son and mom think you died is pretty cold.

She convinces him to go to court, where the judge throws out Porter’s case for lack of evidence. Lynette’s mom is still upset, though, and has trouble letting go of her anger. In a surprisingly touching scene, considering it’s Lynette, her mom softens and Lynette agrees to visit her in the nursing home with the kids.

Marciacross_desperatehousewives_s4_ Bree: After uncomfortably watching Bree mock Orson’s poor negotiating skills in front of himself and Andrew, Alex point blank asks her to stop, saying that his mom used to emasculate his father like that, and it drove him away. …Wow. I mean, he’s not wrong, but wow. “I’m saying if you’re going to be rude to your husband, could you just not do it in front of me?” At the big barbeque, Bree makes a big production about being nice to Orson’s overcooked steaks before suggesting that Alex was being rude, considering Bree had bought him a house. Alex refuses the house if it’s coming with strings attached. Fair enough, but he kind of was being rude.

Andrew refuses to get into the middle of it, and points out to Bree that since Alex isn’t her son, husband, or employee, he doesn’t have to listen to her. Bree tries to make nice with Alex, but he won’t let her, insisting that they’ll fight again, and shouldn’t make it worse by living on top of each other. Bree acknowledges that she actually needs someone to call her out from time to time, and they come to an understanding based upon his ability to do just that. This has the potential to be awesome, folks.

Gaby: Wow, after watching Eva Longoria set the red carpet on fire tonight, it was a bit of a shock to see her as Gaby again. The girls are upset that Carlos is going to be away for work. Juanita: “We don’t need lots of money.” Gaby: “Hey, what did I say about that kind of language?” Ha! Unfortunately, they refuse to listen to Gaby while Carlos is gone, and she can’t exactly physically carry them where she wants them to go (in fact, she throws out her back trying). Carlos is no help over the phone, and Gaby can’t make them listen without him.

Instead of figuring out how to be the alpha female, Gaby pays the yard guy to yell at them and get them to clean up. Carlos isn’t into it, and reminds Gaby when she complains that he’s no help that this is what she wanted when she insisted he take the high-paying job. Gaby: “I just wanted to have a normal life!” Carlos: “Well guess what, sweetie? Dad’s unhappy at work, Mom’s at home with the screaming kids. You got one.” That’s very, very grim. Remind me to never become a desperate housewife.

New Grey’s Anatomy Spoilers: George Staying for Now, Der-Mer!

Grey’s Anatomy: Where’s George? Bailey Knows

Grey's Anatomy Danny Field/ABC

Will T.R. Knight stay with Grey’s Anatomy or is season five George’s last lap?

The authorities aren’t telling, but everybody’s favorite boss doc, Chandra Wilson, knows a thing or two about the future of her protégé, courtesy of the scripts she’s been given for upcoming episodes. (Grey’s returns with a new episode tonight.)

Our Michael Yo just caught up with the divine Dr. Miranda Bailey last night at the People’s Choice Awards, and she had this to say about the current whereabouts of our favorite lost puppy dog, Dr. George O’Malley…

We still have our cast,” Chandra says. “Every script that comes down has O’Malley’s name in it, so we’re going to do right by the fans, and we’re going to do right by the actors, but right now we’re all together.”

She’s also not buying any critical cranking that there’s been a drop in quality for Grey’s this season. Chandra says, “I think that we’re still given the same thing from day one. We got all that crazy medical in there, we got the relationship stuff, we got the romance. People have really gotten used to these individuals; they care about these characters, they care about their lives. That’s good stuff, and we try to stay loyal to them.”

As for the future, according to Chandra, “We’ve got a bunch of crossover, meshy, meshy, to put us all on the same night, so that’s been a lot of fun having those characters hang out with us.”

Grey’s Anatomy Sneak Peeks: Meet McDreamy’s Mom!

“First comes love, then comes shacking up, then comes the future mother-in-law…”

That’s how the song goes, right? Well, that’s how it’s going for Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) and her romance with McDreamy. Tyne Daly stops by next week so we can all meet Dr. Derek Shepherd’s dear mother…and so she can torture prickly ol’ Mer just a tiny little bit.

Speaking of torture, Eric Stoltz is back next week and, as you can see below, ready to get his creep on…

Smallville Spoilers & Preview 8.11: “Legion”

1/15 New ‘Legion’

SmallvilleThe aftermath of Doomsday’s attack on Chloe and Jimmy’s wedding leaves Clark in shock, but before he can search for the kidnapped Chloe, the Persuader (guest star Fraser Aithceson) appears and attacks him. Rokk (guest star Ryan Kennedy), Imra (guest star Alexz Johnson) and Garth (guest star Calum Worthy), also known as The Legion, step in from the future to help vanquish the Persuader and the group realizes Brainiac has taken over Chloe once again. Meanwhile, up at the Fortress, Chloe, as Brainiac, informs Davis he is Doomsday and was created to kill “the other Kryptonian” and destroy the world.

In the new ‘Smallville’, Clark is torn between defeating Brainiac and protecting Chloe who is possessed by him.

” brings out a sneak peek to its “Legion” episode that will air on The CW on January 15. A clip takes the scene of Clark’s dilemma when Chloe is inhabited by Brainiac. Chloe, as the possessed, reveals the plan of destroying the world and that “Doomsday” is sent to Earth to destroy “the other Kryptonian” in the form of Davis.

Another released footage is a director’s cut of the episode where The Legion, which refers to the three superheroes coming from the future in aid of Clark, is battling the possessed Chloe. They then discover Brainiac’s modus operandi and how he’s planning to rule the world.

Talking about the Legion, writer Geoff Johns previously said, “They are absolutely, 100% on point with the Legionnaires and their relationship with Clark Kent. I can say you’ll see an appearance by one of the Legion’s better known enemies.”

Recently, Michael Ausiello at EW reported that who plays Clark is close to sealing a deal for a ninth season. — Ace Showbiz

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